Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
