$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
soo... how was my night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
