how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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