I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
