New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize