Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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