his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
