You're completely useless in the revolution.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize