clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize