I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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