my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
