how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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