I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
