She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
