walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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