Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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