Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
