I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
