is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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