I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
