I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
