addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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