Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize