you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
