Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
