He is an equal opportunity slut.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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