shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My legs feel like baby dolphins
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
