So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
