it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
