Your favorite bartender is back from prision
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
