burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
