Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
