It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
