thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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