it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
