It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
