i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
