Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
