i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
