you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My vagina is very pro this idea
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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