unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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