I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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