some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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