a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
