Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
