You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's just like the Real World with babies
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
