with your own penis?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
