you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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