I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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