ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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