Umm I'm too high to move.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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