are you still at the devil's house?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize