Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
