I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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