Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
