I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
not ubering you a puppy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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