my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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