his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
