toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize