Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dick very happy bro
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
