fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize