I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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