when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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