apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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