Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
mondays should just be called national damage control day
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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