Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
