His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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