The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
