and i looked up. we had an audience...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
