this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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