rhymes with "ouble enetration"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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